Sustaining vs Healing

I learn more about who I am in Christ in the sustaining rather than in immediate physical healing.

When He doesn't fix IT. He sustains ME.

When everything around me is falling apart but I am not.

When the ground quakes beneath my feet but I am steady.

When I break apart but don't give up.

When all hope is lost but Hope hasn't lost me.

When it doesn't make sense for me to feel peace because I want to wallow in my pain and let uncertainty drive me mad

Yet

Peace is all around me. 

I can't escape it. 

In His wisdom, He doesn't ask me what I want before He acts because my desperation would scream out,  "just fix it...at all costs." 

But that isn't always best for me or those watching. It's why my prayer life has to look more like "thank you Lord, Thy will be done," than a list of demands.

Healing can't be more important than the Healer and maybe that's why healing seems so random. We can't use a formula to track its success rate because He heals, but it isn't always what we've asked Him to heal. 

It's better.