If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor. 13:1-3
I was at the end of my rope with someone that I love. I wanted to give up and quit trying so hard to love this person when it seemed easier to let the relationship go. So I read the above scriptures on love and started studying agape love (again). I'm such a stubborn, sarcastic, passive-aggressive jerk sometimes so this is hard for me.
Agape love: a love that is selfless in nature and not sexual or romantic; it is not sappy nor sentimental. It involves commitment and is an act of will. Agape love is displayed in what it does. It is action. This kind of love doesn't make sense and puts the welfare of others above its own. Living it involves truly laying down our own lives so that we can pick others up.
I can
move mountains with my faith, and I have, but if I don’t have agape love -- sacrificial love, giving-it-my-all love -- then my love is irrelevant.
In
John Piper’s book This Momentary Marriage, he talks about how, in order to remain united in marriage, you need to live in continual forgiveness and forbearance. It reminds me a lot of living out agape.
Forgiveness: the action of canceling a debt
Forbearance: patient self-control; restraint and tolerance
That is life changing stuff for any relationship. Imagine if you looked at someone and said, "I am not giving up on you, on us. I will forgive you every time and I will show restraint as you learn and grow. Please do the same for me." And then...WHAT IF YOU BOTH DID THAT? Nothing could touch that relationship. And even if the other person didn't love you that way back? Agape THE HECK outta that person anyway because it changes you as much as it changes them.
(I know this blog is all over the place.)
While thinking about agape love, I realized that nothing matters during conflict with someone you love if you don’t truly live out the gospel RIGHT THEN, IN THE STRIFE.
HOWEVER. Nothing I’ve ever done means anything unless I quiet myself, refuse to be offended and continually, CONTINUALLY, go to The Lord for reprieve, for instruction, for wisdom. Then act on what His words tell me.
While thinking about agape love, I realized that nothing matters during conflict with someone you love if you don’t truly live out the gospel RIGHT THEN, IN THE STRIFE.
It can be harder to selflessly love those closest to us
because of shared history, woven roots, and expectations.
HOWEVER. Nothing I’ve ever done means anything unless I quiet myself, refuse to be offended and continually, CONTINUALLY, go to The Lord for reprieve, for instruction, for wisdom. Then act on what His words tell me.
I HAVE
TO DO THIS. My God loves me at my darkest right? Well..
and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Eph 5:2
You have to give yourself up.
Agape love doesn't just apply to people with whom we are in a relationship, it applies to everyone. It doesn't just mean Christ followers, it means everyone.
Everyone.
Every.
Single.
One.
It means the people you hate but don't know. The people you clump all together to hate as a group because they are addicted or homeless or carry a certain title...or however we decide to group people together.
As I researched, I started to wonder...what
if I saw people as Christ sees them? What if I refuse to get angry back or be
offended? What if I refuse to give up on people?
Agape love doesn't mean becoming a doormat to be walked upon. It's more like draping your beloved new jacket over a puddle so that your enemy can walk over it to get to the other side. It's your choice--not theirs--and it changes you both. I believe it can change a whole generation.
That way of loving doesn't hurt me
if I realize what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
Agape love doesn't mean becoming a doormat to be walked upon. It's more like draping your beloved new jacket over a puddle so that your enemy can walk over it to get to the other side. It's your choice--not theirs--and it changes you both. I believe it can change a whole generation.
GRACE
UPON GRACE
SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN
FREEDOM ALL AROUND
Imagine what supernatural change can happen in the heart of one who looks into the face of such extravagant love. I won’t be loving like this to win people to my side or to change them. I’ll be doing it to love them as Christ loves me (and them). Period. Because God told me to. He told us all to love wildly like this.
LOVE
is the goal
is the goal
not
reconciliation
not change
not sides
To end, I want to tell you how agape love reminds me of the life cycle of a dandelion.
A dandelion exists to change, sacrifice, and then die. Its last sacrificial act is to rid itself of its seeds. It has actually been created for this purpose; the seeds are attached to white floating structures called pappuses so that the wind can spread them far and wide.
Birth, emergence, death to yellow, birth to white,
spreading new life in death,
the seeds travel to create more life and
each one of those seeds repeat the process.
A dandelion exists to change, sacrifice, and then die. Its last sacrificial act is to rid itself of its seeds. It has actually been created for this purpose; the seeds are attached to white floating structures called pappuses so that the wind can spread them far and wide.
The dandelion has been consumed in surrender; but look at how far its sacrifice reached. If ruined prematurely? Dandelions are resilient; even if eaten, destroyed, or moved they can come back to flower. Now imagine that process in a whole field of dandelions.
Imagine...that field as the church. A whole field of servant-minded, sacrificial, surrendering, committed people who (in action) put the welfare of others above themselves, consistently. A field of people who keep their eyes fixed on things above.
Imagine...that field as the church. A whole field of servant-minded, sacrificial, surrendering, committed people who (in action) put the welfare of others above themselves, consistently. A field of people who keep their eyes fixed on things above.
This is the picture of a future dandelion revolution.
Imagine...the winds of Love coming and spreading the seeds far and wide, which creates all new yellow dandelions. The death of self leads to abundance and newness. Then those yellow ones mature and grow white and pour themselves out upon the earth and die which leads to new life.
If the yellow ones wanted to keep their glorious yellow petals and never give them up, to stay the same, they would die anyway. They would die yellow and that's the end.
If the yellow ones wanted to keep their glorious yellow petals and never give them up, to stay the same, they would die anyway. They would die yellow and that's the end.
If they die white as snow, they live forever.
Think of agape love when you look at the life cycle of the dandelion:
Giving, giving, giving, multiplying love
Sacrificing, sacrificing, sacrificing, dividing pain
Day after day after day this happens
It's the only way
It's agape
The gospel is the continual message of
death leading to more life than you can imagine.
Which is sacrificial love.
Die to self, rise up new
Die to self, others rise
Death leads to abundant life
Over and over and over
It makes no sense
But OH! How beautiful
Over and over and over
It makes no sense
But OH! How beautiful
It's how God made His creation
Self-replenishing as long as we let the
winds of His ways work in us
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