Courtney Hutchinson Does NOT Watch The Olympics

Here is why Courtney Hutchinson does NOT watch The Olympics. I know that you've been on the edge of your seats, waiting for such a blog...

Oh idk, maybe someone's WHOLE LIFE'S WORK is ruined in seconds. What about THAT?  Maybe a Cool Runnings moment happens. 

What THEN?  I'm just supposed to sit back and watch that? 
Nope. Not this girl.  

I start to think of the mom Olympic commercial and all they've gone through and how many people helped them get to THIS ONE MOMENT. 

Help me, Jesus. 

Hold me, Jesus. 

Change the channel, Jesus. 

Or what if they have a mean trainer who will, like, whip them if they don't perform well?  What if the trainer hugging them actually has been mean to them for years????

I'm not talking about if they perform awesome and barely miss it here. THAT is not what keeps me up at night. I'm talking about what if they just randomly fall or their ankle gives out or they wake up with the flu?!?!?!?!  I CAN'T JUST WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!  And I especially can't possibly SEE that moment!  

It's too much pressure for one moment in time. 
toomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuch

I can't even watch the faces of the people on America's Funniest Home Videos who are waiting to see of they've come in third or first. 

And yet you want me to watch a whole life's work on the line???  I can't even watch the negotiations on Comic Book Men. I pretend I have to clean and leave the room at that point.  It's THAT awkward for me. 

Comic Book Men: (start negotiating)

Me: (stands up, exits room)

Isaac: Do you want me to pause it? 

Me: Nope. 

Isaac: Are you sure? 

Me: Yep. 

Dear Olympics, 

No thanks. 

Not at all regretfully,

Courtney Hutchinson