Grief's Gift

 

Know what I was just thinking? Sometimes as human beings, we tend to idealize people after they've passed away.

I think our brains memorialize them by romanticizing them.

That's ok. Don't let people tell you that remembering their good traits and the good times you had isn't acceptable. It's how we survive and it's what grief does for us. Even if the person you're missing was wonderful, everyone has hard parts but you don't have to constantly speak about that in order to remember them "correctly."

And if your loved one died from an addiction, committed suicide, passed away after a long prison sentence, or something really hard...lean in and hear me...you are allowed to speak well of them and not bring the hard parts to the forefront in every single conversation.

YOU don't have to take on the guilt for their behavior or take on their pain in order to grieve for them. 

Did you hear that? Read it again. And again. Let that soak in.

You can just love and remember them. The truth is, most of us are somewhere in between perfectly amazing and hopelessly broken. None of us is better than our neighbor.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't talk about the good. Life is so big and hard. One wrong decision can lead you to a life you'd never choose for yourself. And yet good, LOVED people end up there every day. Sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, pastors, teachers, grandparents, celebrities, ALL OF WHOM are loved by someone. ALL OF WHOM will have people who grieve for them.

If you don't feel like you have anyone to listen to you, to speak his/her name to, you can always come to me. 

Every human being's story matters.